Unspoken truth

So I went to a birthday party a couple months ago and closer to the end of the party, it was stated that I am the Facebook girl. If anything goes on ever, I will put it on Facebook. I was named “Facebook Jonie” that night. And as true as it seemed at the time, I have never put “everything” on Facebook. I did, however, put a lot of stuff on there. I became the girl with the camera. If anyone needed any pictures, they knew where to go-to my Facebook photo albums. As much as I hate to admit it, their name for me was quite accurate. I was, indeed, “Facebook Jonie”.

At that point in my life, I was already undergoing some personal changes within. I was already in constant self evaluation mode. I knew I wanted to become a better person than I was. And so I took my new given nickname into consideration.

Did I want to be known as the girl obsessed with Facebook? Did I want to be known as “Facebook Jonie”? Absolutely not. When I die, I don’t want to be remembered as the girl obsessed with Facebook. I don’t want people to think about Facebook and then think of me. You get the point.

So that is one unspoken reason I deleted my Facebook account. Not the main reason or even a big reason, just a reason. Coming to terms with knowing that’s how I was perceived was merely a stepping stone to get me to where I am today.

In order to change and become a better person, you have to accept the fact that you have flaws as well as good qualities and own them. And don’t be afraid to let go of the bad. You won’t lose yourself in the process. You will still be you, just a better version of you.

I have been in prayer for God to change ME. And God has been working overtime on me and I am very grateful. In the past, I have always reverted back to my old ways but then again, I didn’t stay in constant prayer. So I’m also praying that I stay in constant prayer. lol

I want to make clear what I mean by “constant prayer”. I pray every day over lots of things including for God to change me. I am continuously conscious of wanting to stay on the path that I’ve been on-wanting to become a better person. And when I feel or see myself trying to stray, I pray for God to clear my mind and keep me on the right track. It’s a constant struggle to stray clear of my old ways but I only pray that I continue to stray from who I was.

So if you are reading this, I would appreciate prayer. ūüôā

As always thanks for reading.

ūüôā

So I have a few things to say and so I’m gonna say them…

Full body waxes are…painful yet worth it. I have to admit. But the next time I get it done, I will be on laughing gas, no lie.

I just have to figure out how I would obtain said gas…

My oldest told me to get out of his room the other day. Of course he said please but even with the word please after it, it’s still a heart crusher. Silly boy. But when he wants his privacy, he wants his privacy.

 

My youngest has his 1st tooth. 

Excitin’, I know!

Lucky us, it cut through AT the Braves game.

and poor Noah. =(

 

Speaking of the Braves game, we bought a flex plan where we buy several games all at once and we get to pick and choose which ones we want to go to. I think we are going to nearly 15 games this season. We have been to 5 so far and I’m nearly done. D.O.N.E. Of course, that can be because we went to an entire series where we swept the Dodgers.¬†

We have been ON. THE. GO. for an entire week straight now. So tomorrow, my mom is hopefully gonna come over and hang out and we are gonna chill at home.

ANNNNNNNNNND

then we are back at it on Thursday and it wont stop again until

Tuesday? Maybe?

I am one tired Mama! My kids are tired. 

They miss home, poor things.

I miss home but I sure love staying busy too. It makes me feel important for a little bit anyway. LOL 

May is always busy for us. every year.

 

I have thoroughly enjoyed the time we got to spend with Dedra and Chris but I am just so sad it had to be on such sad circumstances. 

And Lord willing, we will have a fantastic weekend before they go back.

 

Friday, my husband and I will be celebrating our 5 year wedding anniversary.

5 years is a milestone and I am happy to have reached it with this man I love so dearly.

I am not perfect. He is not perfect.

But I sure do thank the Lord for what He is doing in our marriage.

It’s been a journey but it’s our journey and I wouldn’t trade it for the world.¬†

I love my husband more today than the day I married him.

 

I’ve gotten more compliments on the way I look within this past week than I have gotten in my whole 29 years. I am thankful for those compliments.

Although, I do feel kinda guilty because I haven’t stepped on a treadmill in over a year.¬†

That’s another story for another day.

It’s kinda funny how my conversations go though.

“How much does Noah weigh?”

“every bit of 20 lbs”

“You’re lookin’ good. What are you doin’ for exercise?”¬†

“carrying¬†around my 20 lbs gym”

So maybe it’s just funny to me…

 

So, I wear my heart on my sleeve and I know it so this next statement is for me and for me alone. And if you benefit from it, awesome!

So what if certain family¬†members¬†or people in general don’t like you! You obviously have a ton of people who love you and they show you daily. So JUST GET OVER IT!!!! K?

Thanks for reading my rambling once again.

P.S. I am doing the FB thing again. So pray for me that I wont let it get the best of me again. =)

 

Mother’s Day woes.

Ever have a day where you wake up and you just feel

fat and ugly? 

And no matter what

you did or said or thought about doing to make the day better,

IT. JUST. KEPT. GETTING. WORSE.

On Mother’s Day of all days.

I wake up sick. So I miss a Mother’s Day¬†gathering.¬†

My hair wouldn’t sit right.

I had a cold shower because I was the last to jump in. 

Sore throat.

No time to do make up so I felt even uglier.

You look in the mirror and you realize it’s not just the jeans you are wearing

or the fact that you just took them out of the dryer

but you have, in fact, put on a few extra lbs.

And that maybe you shouldn’t have eaten that

ice cream,

 pizza, and wings

with ranch

the night before during game night.

Especially when you had 3 different kinds of cheese dip at a graduation party earlier that day.

Good thing my kids are cute and my husband kept ensuring me that I look great

even with out make up.

My husband is one of those types of people 

who will tell you like it is.

The friend that everyone wants but usually can’t handle.

The one who will tell you when you have a booger in your nose,

or if you are wearing too much makeup.

I love him!

As honest as he is, I love him with all that I am. =)

But other than my horrible start to the day, I had a fantastic Mother’s day.

Sick and all, I got to spend it with the 3 

people I love more than anything else in this world.

The one who made me a mother,

the one who showed me just how big my heart is,

and the one who gave me two of the best 

BOYS in the whole entire world.

We did some shopping, went to see a train, had lunch and dinner, 

got to see my mom and David’s mom,

got to see my Nanny,

and dyed my beautiful blonde hair.

Hair that had NATURAL low lights. Yes, NATURAL. 

What is wrong with me?! 

I love my hair as a brunette

but I can’t wait to get my beautiful blonde hair back.

I will let my hair look like crap as the color grows out of it

for as long as it takes

just so I can get MY natural hair back.

Good thing it’s a temporary color. ūüėČ

I mean, I’m 29 years old and have never done anything THIS crazy or stupid.¬†

I mean, I have done some crazy and stupid things but 

THIS?

It will be ok. 

I refuse to have anxiety over this. =)

Now, off to clean my son’s bathroom.

BTW, 

Boys are gross and you have to clean their bathrooms twice as much as

the other bathrooms. 

I’m gonna start punishing him every time he doesn’t aim IN the toilet.

Maybe taking away a train or something? 

Oh well,

Happy Monday and thanks for reading! =)

 

 

 

 

There is always room for improvement

Don’t believe everything that you hear and don’t make an assumption about another person based on what someone else told you, even if they are trustworthy. Because when someone describes how someone else acted, guess what? It’s their opinion. That’s all, just “their” opinion of the person. And your “trustworthy” friend could have been having an off day themselves. All I’m saying is, give everyone a chance with you no matter what. Because to you, that person could turn out to one day be your best friend, co-worker, neighbor, in-law, spouse, or church buddy. And if you would have judged that person based off of someone else’s opinion of them, you might be missing out on an awesome new relationship.

I would say “never let someone else change you” but sometimes, change is good. Even if change was inspired or motivated by someone else. We should always want to become better people than the person we were yesterday. There are reasons why, when I worked at Cracker Barrel, that my managers never gave out perfect evaluations. Or why my husband’s (whom has a degree in his field and is very important to his company) manager never or rarely gives perfect scores. Because as good as we already are, we should always want to become better, never settle. There is always room for improvement.

Some people were born to think like that, some were raised to think like that-some weren’t, and some weren’t shown or taught, if you will, to think like that until their adult-hood, by a friend, spouse, boss, or co-worker.

Let’s just cut to the chase, it’s ME I’m speaking of. I’ve lived my life just “settling” on things. I’ve always been a “I am who I am, take it or leave it” type of person. And that’s OK to be like… to an extent.

I’ve always wanted to become a better MOM, wife, daughter, Christian, friend, etc… And so I tried by changing this here or that over there and things just kept crumbling down. What I needed to do was start with ME. Really start with ME. There are ways to change yourself into a better YOU without losing yourself in the process.

I’m weird in that that I obsess over things in my life. A few examples, Facebook-always needing to post something or share pictures or always having to check it every morning and every time I had a spare minute, when I had a best friend-I obsessed over a few aspects of our friendship, if I feel like I’m being ignored, I obsess over it to no end. You know, just petty stuff like that. If you’ve ever been a witness to one of my rants, you are well aware of this. And I’m sorry you had to. Deeply sorry!

So I started with what seemed like the biggest problem at the time that was keeping me from being the MOM, wife, daughter, and friend I’ve wanted to be-FACEBOOK! That’s right, Facebook AGAIN. Anyone wanna take a guess at how many times I’ve deleted that sucker?!

I knew that Facebook was holding me back. I knew that mentally, it was keeping me from the better ME I wanted and needed to be. It was dragging me down.

As much time as I spent with my kids already throughout the day, I knew I wanted and needed to spend MORE time with them. It just got to the point to where I was feeling so overwhelmed with trying to keep this house in working order, plus trying to have weekly Bible study and the occasional play date, and also keeping an infant and a 3 1/2 yr old happy all day. And not to mention, my husband has needs (not those kinds) and wishes that I’d like to grant as well.

My house is another story for another day.

So this time I gave it up. Not because of “drama” over this or that but for sanity’s sake. I have bigger and more important priorities now. These priorities of mine have always been there, I just now see how to juggle them.

My most recent reactivation is for no other reason than me needing to sell some things. I haven’t actually taken the time to upload the pics yet but I will be doing that soon. Really soon. I haven’t even used FB for its purpose since I’ve reactivated.

Still trying to figure out a user friendly way to share pictures with family and friends that don’t have Instagram. Everyone’s been asking every time I see them.

So back to the matter at hand, ever since the initial deactivation of my Facebook account, I can think a little more clearly, I’m happier, and I’m less overwhelmed. Of course because of the 3 I just mentioned, I feel like I get to spend more time with my kiddos. I mean, I’ve always spent this much time with them but now this time isn’t shared with Facebook. My kids and husband deserve the absolute best from me and I may be taking baby steps to get there but I am on my way.

Thanks for reading my book. Stay tuned to dates of my next one…

Proverbs 31

We’ve all read it at least once in our lives. I have read it several times just this year alone.

I am currently studying that in Bible study with a friend. It’s funny how The Lord works. I originally wanted to start Bible study to study on Revelations and the rapture but as the weeks went on, my friend and I realized that God had other plans. We both felt that we were being lead to study on Proverbs 31 in better detail.

For those who don’t know (assuming anyone reads this), Proverbs 31:10-31 speaks on the Virtuous Woman. And the Virtuous Woman is defined (in my opinion) in great detail. This is also my opinion but do I believe that God intended for all woman to be like the example given to a T? No! But I do believe that we should try our best to be as close to a Virtuous Woman as we can be.

Being a woman is hard. Especially being a Mom. Sometimes, men just don’t understand. lol

So basically, that’s what I’m currently working on as a christian, as a WIFE, and as a mom. I am far from where I want to be, where I feel that God wants me to be. And sometimes, I feel further away than I was the day before-true story. And even though I’m sitting here writing this, I feel like my goal is barely a twinkling light beyond the horizon.

Being in constant prayer is also hard work but is 100% worth it. We should let Christ shine through everything we do and say. That’s not aways the case for me and honestly, I don’t know if that been the case for a while for me.

Life gets in the way. I know, excuses, excuses. But excuse or not, it’s the truth. God didn’t promise that my rode would be easy and boy does that hold some meaning. The “easy” road is what I feel like I’m taking right now. The “hard” road is what hold the most reward but it also takes a strong person to go down that road.

Am I rambling? I feel like I am.

So basically, the bottom line is, I am not where I need or want to be with God right now. I’m getting there but it feels like I’m taking 2 steps forward and 3 steps back. So if you are reading this, please say a prayer for me. It is greatly appreciated. ūüôā

This and that

Seriously! I have the worst habit of doing what I shouldn’t be doing when there are more important things to do…such as writing this blog while I should be scrubbing a stain out of a onesie (it can sit in the soapy water for just a bit longer), doing laundry and all that comes with it, decorating my boy’s room with the new frames I bought yesterday. Oh and eating lunch. I always forget to eat lunch but when I do, Lord help me! It’s a good thing I have an almost 4 year old to remind me to eat sometimes. Is that bad?!

Of course I don’t forget to feed him or Noah but I just get so wrapped up in what in doing that putting food in my mouth is the farthest thing from my mind. I make Matthew’s food, which is usually what I make myself too but the while he’s eating, I feed Noah his cereal (and milk), then I get busy gettin’ stuff done. I usually do sit down and eat with David when he comes home for lunch but the times vary. Although sometimes I eat on the go even when he’s home.

What was with that rant?!

So yeah, earlier I mentioned that I have an almost 4 year old!! He is getting so old, I want time to slow down. He doesn’t need me as much anymore. He has become so independent. I can hardly get him to smile at the camera anymore without bribing him (great parenting, right?!). In hindsight, he is still so small yet so big. I guess I didn’t really realize how big he actually is until I held Noah for the 1st time. And the next time I picked Matthew up, once I was healed from my C-section, that’s when it hit me how big he had gotten since I last held him when I was about 7 months pregnant. It was a reality check.

This time 4 years ago, I was preparing for the lil baby growing in my belly. He was not just my 1st born and the one who made me a Mom, he was the center of my universe. As I nicknamed him, my Everything. Those aren’t just words, it was truth.

And those words still hold true 4 years later and one more kid in the mix. Matthew is still my Everything but so is my 2nd born, my Noah. I have 2 Everythings. These kids are my world. Both are the center of my universe.

The transition of having one kid who is the center of my universe to having 2 was hard to deal with. I had yet another reality check.

Matthew just climbed into my lap. I’ll have to put this off for now…

But as I was saying, it was hard transitioning to having two kids, emotionally, but not necessarily in a bad way. Matthew was no longer my only Everything and I had to then split my time. For the past 4 months, it’s been about 80/20 because Noah needs more of my attention. So I try even harder to make sure Matthew know I still love him and that he knows he is still my whole world. But also showing Noah that he, too, is my whole world. I work very hard at not letting either of them feel left out and I still don’t feel that I’m doing the best job at it. Matthew hasn’t acted as though he feels left out. He has taken the “Big brother” roll very seriously and he’s done an awesome job at it. I’m very proud of him.

I feel like I’ve rambled and IF you have gotten through this whole post with out falling asleep, bless you! ūüôā

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