He is right on time!!!

When He’s 4 days late, He’s still on time. What an amazing song! 

This song is so special to me today and has been since I found out I was pregnant with N. David and I had been trying for a baby since nearly around the time I stopped nursing M. The day of M’s 3rd birthday party, we found out we were pregnant with what would have been our 2nd baby. But just a few days later, God took him or her from us and there we were. We were both sad but I knew that this was all part of God’s greater plan for us. So I will never forget that baby. It was a part of me and always will be but I didn’t dwell on it. I healed from that loss. Of course, I will never heal completely but I’m OK with it. I understand it. God wasn’t ready for our family to grow yet. We weren’t ready to grow as a family.

Looking back, I know that God needed me to change in ways I couldn’t do on my own. But almost 9 months later, He gave us N. I still had growing to do and I was in the process of a new lifestyle change myself. I thought that it wasn’t the right time in my life to have a baby yet since I am trying to lose weight and get healthier. Don’t get me wrong, I was tickled pink. Beyond thrilled to be having another baby and to give M what I feel that he so desperately wanted, a new brother or sister. But it was God’s plan for us. I didn’t understand it. I didn’t know why but I trusted Him. And I knew that this wonderful gift from Him was given to us at just the right time. He didn’t give him to us when we asked for it. Or when we thought we needed him. God knew better. He waited until we were ready. And it all became clear to me one morning when I was getting dressed while listening to my gospel music. This song was playing “Lazarus come Forth” is what it shows on my ipod. He is not late, He is not early, He is right on time. So then, I knew that God put N in my life when I needed him. And that still holds true today.  Because they person I am today is SO not the person I was a year ago or even 2 years ago. N is my life saver. =) And every time I hear this song, I think about that day that my pregnancy with N became so clear to me. And in turn I think about N and how much of a blessing he has been in just his 10 wonderful months of life. Such a blessing!!! I know that M is gonna do great things in this lil life of his and I know N will also. I can feel it. N is a special kind of boy and I am just so thrilled to be both of my boy’s mama. =)

 

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