“What is normal anyway…”

Within the past few months, I feel like I have failed as a mom. Normally judgment from other “perfect” moms (or non-moms) don’t really bother me but I can’t seem to shake them lately.

My 5 yr old has been going through a few life changes since he started Kindergarten. The biggest is just that. He started Kindergarten and his life has essentially been turned upside down. All of a sudden, there was permanent structure in his little life. I’ll admit that I have never been one to keep consistent structure in his life because my own life isn’t structured. I’m horrible. Having preK at home did help a lot with structure on his and my part. It held us accountable and forced us to be on a schedule. πŸ˜‰

So with that and the constant “new people” in his life, having a new person to answer to (new person being his teacher); life changed big time for my little man. I mean, it really puts a lot on him not wanting to turn his card. And so far, he’s only had to turn 1 card all first semester. πŸ˜‰

That’s my boy!

But he has been home with me now for the past 2 week for Christmas break. I have been spoiled having him home, even though I did share him with a few family members. I am not ready to get back to the grind of things.

I almost forgot my opening statement.

So with all that said, with all these changes, he’s had a little attitude change as well. It seems that out of no where, my sweet baby learned how to talk back. And *try* to talk his way out of and into things. I feel like we are raising a teenager at times and I want to ground him from his car!!!! Parenting has gotten tough in just a short amount of time. I mean, it’s never been easy but this is something we’ve never experienced at parents. And honestly, we probably thought we wouldn’t go through this phase for another 10 years. Ha!

But each thing we go through is teaching us and molding us. The experiences are there for us to look back on. To reflect on. And to become better parents because of.

I just want what’s best for my boys and I want it so much it hurts. And this whole raising little people thing is scary because you just don’t know what will come of it. You won’t know how they’ll turn out for several years. And you won’t know how badly you either screwed up or how awesome you were/are until that day comes when they start becoming their own person.

And I know that no matter who they turn into, I will love them unconditionally. And I can only pray to God above that I’m at least doing something right. They love me more than anyone so obviously I am. πŸ˜‰

Thanks for reading! Happy New Year!

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