So it’s now February 18th and in 2 months (give or take a couple days) we will have our 3rd little baby boy here in my arms. I have so enjoyed this pregnancy. Even the times I’ve complained about being tired or the times that I’ve been so mean to those I love (I’m totally blaming hormones). There have been plenty more “pregnant moments” for me this pregnancy. I have to admit that out of all 3 of my babies, I’ve been most mean during this pregnancy.
I’ve even had the normal “pregnancy pains” this time around. Like A LOT! But I don’t recall really complaining about those. I just endure them because I know it’ll all be over after while (until our 4th baby, that is). A very long while.
But over all, I have just enjoyed this pregnancy (even the bad parts). This time around, it seems to be so much sweeter. And in the grand scheme of things, it seems to be going by so fast. Of course, I’m saying this before I’ve hit the extreme uphill battle of the very last weeks. I remember those.
With my first son, everything was new. Every little thing set me off and scared the crap out of me. I called the nurse about everything. And the last month or so seemed to take forever. I thought every time i peed longer than normal that my water had broken. Silly! I mean, I enjoyed growing him inside of me like crazy. It was such an amazing gift from God. A wonderful experience is an understatement of what it actually was. And when that precious day came, God blessed us with the most perfect little baby boy I had ever laid eyes on. He instantly became my EVERYTHING. He instantly taught me what unconditional love feels like.
Then, about 3 years and a miscarriage later, God blessed us with another bundle of wonderfulness in my belly. He was so prayed for and waited for. We want 4 kids and he was our 2nd bundle of blessings. His pregnancy was way more trying than my first son’s. While I enjoyed it, it was different. More hard. He was an almost 10 lb newborn baby. Woah!!! No wonder is was hard! But I also spent most of my pregnancy with anxiety over how in the world is it possible to love someone as much as I love my first baby. Now, of course I loved him in my belly and I knew I’d be even more in love with him when he came out and into my arms. I guess I just didn’t understand how it would feel. I felt like in some way, I was betraying my first born. It made me feel a little guilty. I just didn’t understand it.
But If Jonie now could go back in time and tell Jonie then that it’s all gonna be ok, I would. Because what I didn’t realize was the moment my husband put baby #2 in my arms, I instantly knew that I then and would always have not one but 2 everythings. I loved him as much as I love my first born and it all just came so naturally. Just like how God loves us. I do believe that no one quiet understands God’s love for us the way a mama does. And watching the way my 1st born loved and adored his little brother showed me that it was just the most perfect love. I was in love with not one but two little boys. And their daddy that helped me make them.
And all that brings me to this pregnancy. I am 31 weeks pregnant and I have just enjoyed every little kick, every time I’ve heard the heart beat, every time my boys love on him, give him kisses, blow raspberries on him. I’ve enjoyed it all. And all of that makes my (so far) almost 8 month morning sickness, all the pain I have to endure, all of my mood swings worth it. They make it SO worth it. Because I know how this love thing works, I KNOW that this baby is gonna be just as loved as my other 2. And since I’ve already experienced that whole 2nd child thing, I am not scared. I already love him as if he were here. As if he is already in my arms and here in our world. I just can’t wait to love on him. To smother him with our kisses and undying love. He is our 3rd precious gift from God. We just have to give this 3rd precious gift a name. Still thinking on that. So the above is the whole reason why this pregnancy has been so much sweeter than my first 2. I can’t wait to meet our precious baby.
Praise God for such wonderful gifts!!!