I need God

I am in an unhealthy place right now, in my life. Yet, I am surrounded by so many people who love me. I have been bitten by the jealousy big, by the comparison bug, going through postpartum depression, overweight and lacking in a lot of areas as a wife and friend. The only thing I seem to give my all to is my mothering. 
My kids are my world and I’d much rather be with them than anyone else in this world. I mean that’s understandable but not healthy to not want to be with other people. I mean, I’m not saying I don’t need a break every now and then but my breaks usually consist of me wanting to be by myself for a little bit. I have stopped longing for those Mommy Time meetings with my friends. This is pertinent because this isn’t me. 
I mean my kids are my world and I have made that no secret from the moment I laid eyes on my 1st born, 6 yrs ago. That day change my life and my heart forever. But the Jonie I used to be…who I’ve grown into and have taught myself to be, has been lost for a long time now. 
I am no longer as spiritual as I once was. I want to be. I know God is still MY God and He is still able! I know He will be there to pick up the pieces once I just call on Him. I take comfort in knowing He will be there. I also take that for granted. And I am 100% aware of this. 
I am still in here. I still want to inspire others. I still want to be better than I was the day before. I still want to do things and make things happen. I still want to make a difference and work for a cause. I still want my high school body back for crying out loud (wishful thinking). 
My family deserves the best Jonie I can be. And as much as I give my kids of me, they STILL deserve more. They deserve a mama who loves herself again. I need to love myself again! My husband deserves a wife who loves herself. My friends and family deserve a Jonie who loves herself. 
So I’m just asking for good vibes and prayer to help me through this. It took me a lot to say this much. Lord knows I have so much more in my heart. I just need prayer! I need motivation. I need God! 


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