Preggo!!!!!

For anyone who follows my blog but doesn’t follow me on social media: I am extremely happy to say that we are extending our family!!!! Baby number 3 will make his or her appearance sometime around April 23rd.

So now that the cats out of the bag that we have a bun in the oven, I can finally write about my feelings and experiences so far during this pregnancy.

1st of all, finding out was a great surprise but this pregnancy was planned, if that makes any sense at all. Basically, I go through phases where we try and try and I waste about $40-$60 on pregnancy tests (and even mistake a $20 box of ovulation sticks for pregnancy sticks) and nothing. Nothing, nothing, nothing. Never did get even close to pregnant. So I would stop “expecting” to get pregnant and just started practicing for the fun of it. πŸ˜‰ and then Bam! Missed period? Other preggo symptoms? Took a test and I finally see TWO LINES!!!!

So since I took the test in a Wal-Mart bathroom, I hurried the kids out of the stall, washed my hands, told the first person I saw that I’M PREGNANT!!!! She laughed at me but said congratulations. Hurried the kids to car, rushed putting my groceries in, threw away the caffeinated beverages I was drinking because now, NOW, I knew that I am PREGNANT!!!! Since I was meeting my husband for lunch that day, I rushed at fast and as safely as I could to his work and waited impatiently for him to get off the call he suddenly got just before I got there. Stood outside of the car, test in hand, hidden behind my back. Told him to close his eye as he walked out. As he stood before me, I presented the test to him and to his surprise, he is gonna be a DADDY for the 3rd time.

It is actually happening. I’m gonna be a Mommy of 3!!!!!!!! And now that we have announced it to our closest family and friends, I can scream it to the world!!!!!!!!!!! I can finally show how excited I am that I have a little plum (now) growing inside of me. Words can not express my excitement and my thankfulness.

I just can not wait to have 3 little babies running around. 3 human beings that I made. With the help of God and my husband, of course. I’m already wondering all the things about this baby. Boy or girl? Who will he or she look like? If it’s a girl, will she look like me or will she look like my Husband’s side (my hope is my Husband’s side)?

Do I want a boy or a girl?

Well, for the longest time, I’ve been in love with the idea of having all boys. I just love it. I love being a boy mom. I think I’ve pretty much got that part down thus far. But each time I get pregnant, I know there is always that chance that I could also possibly have a girl. Then I also fall in love with the thought of having a girl. My house will be taken over by the color PINK. Tutus, headbands, shoes (Omgosh at the shoes), and pretty much all things pink. I thought I was a DIY mom already. Please me, now, will be nothing compared to me as a girl mom in the DIY department!!!!

So to answer my self-asked question, I don’t care. I still LOVE the idea of having all boys. But I’m also in love with the idea of having a girl. So it’s whatever God chooses to make me. πŸ™‚

Stay tuned for more preggo updates cause I know I’ll have lots of them. πŸ™‚

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Always got something insightful to say…

Today, I am getting long overdue work done. And it definitely isn’t complete for doesn’t feel right unless I have coffee within arm’s reach and itunes playing in the background. =)

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I have realized that life has been weird since my family returned home from vacation. It seems like our house is falling apart. But we still have a house and it keeps cool (kinda) and we definitely don’t get rained on. So we are blessed! And very grateful.

Just a random thought for you…

This stuff works wonders for my son’s eczema. It clears his poor little legs up in a day, just one use at times. So if you are in need of some good medicine, I just grabbed it at a local Wal-Mart in the pharmacy section.

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On a more insightful note (Please know that the following is very hard for me to write about. I have tried several times but I’ve always seemed to lose my train of thought. But today, it all poured right on out.)

It is so easy to get wrapped up in every day life or to lose yourself in relationships or friendships. And it’s easy to lose sight of what or who’s really important. I am a prime example of everything I just said. And I have a track record of expecting too much out of people and usually end up feeling disappointed. So as I said in the post about vacation, I didn’t have “much” thinking and devotional time but what I did come to realize while on vacation is that I get disappointed in people, not because of anything they have done specifically but because there is this happiness that I am seeking (from people) that only God can fill. And it sometimes results in hurt feelings or friendships and such.

Let me say it loudly, I rely too much on my friends and other people to make me happy when I should be trying to find that happiness in God alone.

And on this same note, I also realized that I obsess over the status of a friendship or relationship. That if we don’t talk daily or hang out weekly, we aren’t good friends. Or I wonder what have I done to make this person not want to be around me (what?!?!) I have NO clue who told me that it’s a rule that in order to be best friends or even good friends, you have to hang out a certain amount of times or talk a specific amount of times a week. I’m sure no one but somewhere down the line, that’s the image of a BFF that I have created in my mind.

But God showed me, during vacation, that there are no other people on this planet that I should care THAT much about other than God himself, my husband, and children. And not even in a “crazy” way. I should care more about the status of my relationship with those people more than I should care about anyone else. Don’t get me wrong because I care the most about them. More than anyone. Ever. They are my world! But if my heart was right with God then they should be all that I need to be genuinely happy. And IF I make friends along the way then awesome. If I make a best friend along the way, praise God, you know!

So with all of that said, God has blessed me with some amazing friends who love me and would do anything for me at any given moment as I would for them. These are some awesome woman with great hearts. And I am thankful to call them my best friends. And I have learned recently that I should not expect so much of them for they can not fill the space in my heart that is only reserved for God Himself.

But that happens to go for everything in life, though. We should always seek God’s approval first and foremost. And it’s easy, really easy to forget that. But I have to tell you, ever since I have come to this realization, my heart has been way more peaceful. And I haven’t worried as much. And it would even be safe to say that I have been way less high maintenance. Ha!

Now to eat. =)

Florida

There are a few things I learned while on vacation…

Florida is HOT. It was 102 out while we were driving home yesterday. Crazy!

I’m not a huge fan of the beach. Because first of all, Florida is HOT. 2ndly, the sand is HOT and gets everywhere. I can not tell you how much sand I have eaten this past week. Or swallowed while drinking my bottled water on the beach. Or how much sand I still felt in my mouth after not even being at the beach for a whole day.
3rdly, seaweed is gross and I don’t like getting into the ocean if I can’t see the bottom.

Vacation was not what I expected it to be. Because first of all, I expected to relax a little more than I did. But there’s this little thing called being a parent that’s a little (a lot actually) bit more important than being useless on the beach. lol

I expected to watch the sun rise a few times, watch the sun set a few times, take countless walks on the beach with my man, just lay on the beach and relax and just admire God’s wonderful work of art. I expected to have some extra, much needed one on one time with God and develop a whole new purpose of life. I expected to play and play and play on the beach with my babies. I expected to explore my photography and capture God’s creations.

But as reality would have it….things didn’t go as expected.

First of all, Florida was HOT! We didn’t get fully ready to leave the condo most days until after noon. Then we stayed out most days extremely late and then either hung out as a family before actually calling it a night or we just went straight to bed. So no watching the sun rise or set for me. LOL My husband and I ended up getting sick which landed me in bed for a few hours one day.

But above all of that, we have the time of our lives. We didn’t dwell on what we didn’t get to do because what we did do meant so much more.

I got to spend time with my babies and just love on them and spoil them for an entire week. We played in the ocean with them. We had dinners on the balcony, played board games with them, had countless conversations with them, played in the pool, had a pool party, let them stay up at late as they could stand it. And I fell in love with my kids even more than I ready was. I didn’t know it was possible to love someone that you already love with all of your being, more.

I got a tattoo (henna) or 2. I didn’t watch what I ate- at all. I got to spend nearly every waking minute with my man. I got to bond with my sister-in-law and soon to be sister-in-law. And I feel that we all grew closer as a family. I definitely didn’t get tired of seeing their faces every day.

We laughed and laughed, ate, played, argued, talked and just enjoyed each other’s company for 7 days.

This Florida vacation wasn’t what I had expected but it turned out to be SO MUCH MORE. We made memories than I’ll remember for a life time. And I am SO glad that I got what I needed out of this vacation instead of what I thought I wanted. What I got was some good family therapy. There is no other people that I will love more on this earth than my family.

I am thankful to everyone that made this week possible for us. πŸ™‚ I am thanking God for giving us what we needed on this family vacation and knowing what we needed and for reminding me that it is not MY will but His!

I can’t wait for our next family vacation. Hopefully it won’t be another 5 yrs. πŸ˜‰

1st day of Kindergarten

Well, it’s happening. My oldest is in school. And I want to write about this while my feelings are fresh because I feel that I will be most honest this way.

Yesterday was such an exciting day!!! We woke up, showered, got dressed, brushed our teeth (before breakfast. It’s just the way we do it), ate breakfast, took pictures then loaded in the car and headed to the school. Just FYI, I will not be posting any of his school pictures for his safety. =)

He hopped out, gave his daddy a hug (daddy had tears) and I and my big ole camera walked him right in. He found his own classroom. On our walk, he pointed out all the Ninja Turtle backpacks we saw, none were just like his (thankfully). The process inside took a while but once he got his name tag on, he was ready to get the day started. I saw the little boys at one of the tables point Matthew and his Ninja Turtle shirt and bookbag out. He started off to hang his backpack with his teacher’s assistant and I had to call him back to grab a hug before he forgot all about me. LOL After hanging his bag, I slowly but surely made my way out of the door as my part in his school day was over until school was out and I’d get to pick him up.

But before I left, I stood at the door to see where he’d be sitting. He chose to sit at the table with the little boys I mentioned earlier. And then I waited to see if they started talking to him. At first, one little boy was stand-offish and I immediately wanted to go and start a conversation with the boys to get them to talk to Matthew. But I don’t know what happened or what Matthew said but they eventually started talking and for that, I was thankful! I snapped a far away picture (thankful for my camera’s awesome zoom) then said an eye open prayer (so that no one thought I was falling asleep) over him. And turned around and walk to the car. No major tears. Just watery eyes. I guess I knew I had to be strong for my baby. And subconsciously, I knew I couldn’t cry.

The whole day was spent running errand with my husband and the babies. It was a busy day but I feel like I didn’t get anything of importance done. Well, besides getting that expired tag renewed….ooops!

I anticipated the hours til we got to go and pick him up. And the time came then we went to it in the car rider line for what felt like 2 hours. My stomach was in knots and I couldn’t wait to hear all about his 1st day of Kindergarten.

We finally pull up and he’s see’s us and can’t wait to come hop in. Once he gets in and gets settled, he tell one of the babies that he was in Kindergarten all day.

The first thing he said was “Mommy, school was great!” Daddy asked questions and I just sat there and listened so intently. I just hung on his every little word. With a huge smile on my face. I loved hearing about Kindergarten from his perspective.

And he couldn’t wait to go back today.

And we get him off to school with his daddy this morning and immediately, my Favorite calls me and I believe that that’s exactly what I needed to get my mind off of things. But it’s been a couple of hours and here I sit…sad. Playing with the babies and missing him so badly. I just wish I knew what exactly he is doing each time he does it. But this is a part of letting him grow up. He baby stage is over. He is now a big boy (he has been a big boy for quite some time but now, he’s a BIG big boy) and it’s time to let him go. He will be home every afternoon and every weekend.

But for right now (and the rest of our lives), this is our life and I’m sure it will get easier. And I just can’t wait to hear all about his 2nd day of Kindergarten.

I didn’t make it a secret that I was sad, scared, excited and every other emotion on the planet about my baby going to school. And yesterday, I felt such love, encouragement, and support from all of my friends and family.

The day before, my baby got calls (and skyped) from his aunt and grandparents, got to go hang out with his cousin at the park for a little bit. He had such a great day. And before bed last night, he got calls again asking how his day was. He, too, has been shown so much love from his family.

We are incredibly blessed with such awesome family and friends.

And while I was all wrapped up in my pity party, I didn’t even think to offer a kind word to all of the other moms who are experiencing the same thing as I am. Their first baby is going to school for the first time too. And they are right there with me. And us Mama’s have to stick together and let one another know that they are not alone.

So for all the love I was shown yesterday, I am thankful! So thankful.

Nap time diary…

I am a very vocal person and I have been extremely vocal about my baby going to kindergarten. Not my “baby” baby…my big boy baby. And I know several mama’s whose babies are going off to Kindergarten this year and some who are going off to preK. And though they aren’t as vocal as I am, I know that they are sad, too. Some are actually happy. LOL

I just don’t want him to grow up. I want another 5 yrs with him to do all the things I never got to do with him. I want to teach him even more things that I already have. I want to make even more memories and teach him more than I already have. I know that I will still get to do all of those things with him. I’m just not ready for Kindergarten to have him yet.

So on another note, I have started my photography page on FB and hopefully will be starting a good business really soon. You can find me here

People are cruel and so I am sure that I have a few “haters” out there who thinks I shouldn’t have a business. The truth is, I know my pictures aren’t as good as a lot of people’s pictures. I know I have a long way to go. But the reality is, I am starting this business because I love taking pictures. I love making memories.

I bought my first DSLR when my oldest turned 1. And while I had no clue what to do with my camera, I knew that I loved the crisp, sharp photos that it took. My son deserved the best pictures out there. I tried practicing on different people and things and over the years with practice, studying, and experience, I am now comfortable enough to charge for my work. I enjoy capturing memories and everyone who is around me on the reg knows how much I love it. =)

The last few posts have been about my 1st born and I have been neglecting to mention my sweet 19 month old. He is growing so fast and talking like crazy (for a 19 month old). He has no fear and wants to do everything Brother does. He is goofy and will look you dead in the face and laugh at you if you are crying. He is going to be our family goofball because well, he already is. I love both of my boys so very much!

Just what I needed

My mother in law is freaking awesome!
She isn’t perfect but you don’t have to be perfect to be awesome.
I am living proof. Ha!

Today was my 1st Born’s 5 yr we’ll check. So we did that then had lunch and ran a couple of errands.

Originally, I had plans to have a play date with my favorite friend and all of our sweet babies but that was cancelled. And while I missed hanging out with them, I have never been happier for cancelled plans because today was just me and my 1st boy. And I had the best time with him. And he said that he had so much fun with me too. And while we didn’t doing anything to speak of really, today was exactly what I needed before next week.

Today was special because he didn’t have to be big brother or my big boy helper. He got to be just Matthew and all the wonderfulness that is he. We talked and played rhyming and color games. We raced to see who could buckle up first. I broke my healthy streak just for lunch and we raced to see who could finish our desserts first.

It has been the best day. My heart is full and I am one happy Mommy.

He isn’t perfect and neither am I. And a lot of days, it’s hard with his 5 yr old attitude. But it’s a daily work in progress.

I am thankful for today, for my boy, for the alone time we had together today.

Life’s about to change and nothing ever stays the same…

So life as it stands for me is the usual…awesome, in my opinion. But there people might share a difference in opinion about my life.

My oldest is starting Kindergarten in just 2 weeks or so. We have been hyping him up for it, getting him ready. Shopping and reading him books about it. And overall, he is pretty darn excited about it as of now. Mission accomplished! πŸ˜‰

Now who’s gonna get me ready for it?!
Just asking…

He just turned 5 about a week ago. And we took him on a train ride to New Orleans. We all had so much fun. We don’t really go out of town much so this was kinda really awesome for us.

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Then when we got home, we threw him an awesome birthday party at home in our back yard essentially. His friends and family came and we just all had a blast.

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Am I ready for him to be 5? No! I love looking back at his old pictures and just miss him as a baby SO much. He is almost not the same person anymore. He has grown into one of the most smartest kids I know. He tries to be one step ahead of his mom and dad so I have to be quicker. πŸ˜‰ He has taught me SO much in my 5 yrs of parenting. I am definitely not the same person as I was when he was born; we grew up together. He is, was and always will be my Everything. He loves me more than anyone else on the planet. He’s definitely a mama’s boy and I just pray PRAY pray that he stays that way. Not in a “I’m gonna get made fun of in school” kind of way but I pray he always knows he has open arms in me and that he will always come to me. For everything!

Quality over quantity

Quality over Quantity! This has been my mental phrase for a couple of days now. But I can’t take credit for it as it was because of one of my best friends that I even use it now. But this phrase, due to the circumstance I was in at the time those words came to me, will probably follow me for the rest of my life.

I will be honest and “petty” if you will and say that it bothers me more than it should when people, loved ones even, don’t show up to my boy’s birthday parties. It breaks my heart for them even though they have no clue. All they know is there is cake, his mom and dad, a few friends and cousins, presents and in this last party’s case, a SLIP N SLIDE and an ALLIGATOR pool and my 5 yr old had a blast. He didn’t even notice who wasn’t there. But you know who did? ME!!! And even though the ones that DID call to say they couldn’t make it, regardless the reason, called, It still bothered me. And at first, it ruined my day but I put my big girl panties on and dealt with it. I didn’t want my kids to see the disgust or sadness on my face. I just want my kids to always have the best birthday experience I can give them. And ultimately, being their mama and wanting what’s best for them, I want everyone else to care as much as I do. But not that they don’t care (because I know they do), they will never care as much as I care as I am Mommy. People have their own lives and as much as I wish they would stop everything for my kids, they just simply can’t. lol In a perfect world, though. In a perfect world. So anyway, there is no point in me getting upset about it every single year.

With all of the above said, I do not want my boys to be like me. I don’t want them to worry about who isn’t there. I always want them to feel extremely loved because of who is always there for them. And that number will probably be able to be counted on just one hand. at most, one and a half hands. I would rather them have a few close true friends than to be the most popular person in school with a whole host of people around you all the time and still feel completely alone. I want them to always choose quality over quantity. Look at the quality of a person rather than the popularity of a person.

And this little life lesson starts with me! Being a mom, I am constantly becoming a better person because my kids are watching me. And Lord knows that I do not want my kids to be like me when it comes to certain aspect of ME. I want to stop wearing my heart on my sleeve all the time and strap on a pair of big girl panties so I can teach my kids early that it doesn’t matter how many people are in theirs lives. It matters WHY they are in theirs lives. I love them to pieces and I want to become a better person than I was yesterday. Not just for myself but for them too.

Nap time diary

“Mommy, will you pray for me?” are the sweetest words I could ever hear out of my almost 5 yr old’s mouth. And my answer was and always will be “Of course!”, with out question, no matter what I’m doing.

 

It’s almost birthday time for my First Born so I pulled out my old dusty external hard drive and the kids and I spent the morning looking at pictures of the FB’s first year. =) I actually pulled it out last night and I have spent the morning watching videos, looking at pictures, crying, laughing, and smiling. And watching my 2nd Born point out all the people he knows and M saying how much he remembers…as a 2 month old…. πŸ˜‰

 

One of the memories I found while looking through the external hard drive this morning. =)
One of the memories I found while looking through the external hard drive this morning. =)

I know that I have talked about this before but I am an emotional basket case when I allow myself to think about him going to Kindergarten. Of course, I am MOMMY and I don’t really have the time to turn into a basket case and so I don’t. I am sure I am saving it all up for his first day of school.

 

The upside? I have a legit excuse to go shopping for him again. Although, I’ve never really needed an excuse before other than “…but they had a sale!” ha!

 

>>>>>>Random thought<<<<<< So I have recently been reminded about a few things of my past and I have to say that I am SO thankful for how far I’ve come and thatΒ some things never change. And I became even more thankful for my little life. And to think about where I was…it’s a little scary now that I’m on the outside looking in and I’m SO glad that that’s not me anymore.

 

A few more sweet pictures I cam across.Β DSC09510

 

 

 

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In case you didn’t know…

If you didn’t know this about me, I LOVE getting massages. I love for my hair to be washed by the lady at the hair salon and I love for my legs to massaged by the lady at the mail salon. I love for people to massage or run my back. It relaxes me. It makes me feel…relaxed! There is no other term for it.

I love being pampered. So for moments like I am having right this very minute at the nail salon, I am thankful!

One thing I hate about getting my toes done is putting my shoes back on cause my soft feet makes it hard to walk.

Happy Saturday, y’all!!!