Promise!!!

Sometimes, with our family and friends, we often take them for granted. Because it’s simple. We think they’ll always be there. In some cases we know. We know that no matter what we do or how much we ignore them or treat them badly, they’ll never leave our side. Because they love us.

Well, this story sounds familiar, don’t you think?

I am pretty old school, most times, with my gospel music (my friends would tend to agree). With that said, as I was listening to this really old, whinny gospel song, The Blood is Still there, God spoke to me.

He knows, I know, and only a select few know that I have not been walking with Him the way I used to. The way I need to. I have let the way of the world run my life and mind for the past few months, in various ways. Whether it be with music or the internet (social media), or just simply not keeping myself my mind, and heart in constant prayer with Him. Not holding myself accountable. Knowing that I NEED God if I’m ever going to be any kind of mom that my boys (and possibly girl come April?) need and deserve.

And I’ve known this. Like always. But I never really felt too concerned and I never really thought about it until I was listening to that song. I’ve never been too concerned because like with those friends and family that I spoke about earlier, that is exactly the way we treat God. Myself in particular. Β And in the back of my mind, I KNOW that beyond a shadow of a doubt that God will always be there for me. He is always walking with me per His promise. So It just makes it easier to just keep living my life as I am, with Him in there constantly because, like I said, He will always be there.

It’s sad but true. And no, it’s not OK in the least to take anyone for granted, especially the One who gave you everlasting life!!!

It’s also a hard thing to admit out loud but I just did in hopes that this reaches and blesses someone who is going through something similar.

Motherhood and poop! They go hand in hand. Can’t escape it.

It’s been one of “those” days. You know the one. The one where you have to pull a wet (but clean) wash rag out of the washer just so you can take a shower but not before you throw a few more into the dryer for your family before they wake up. The one where your husband HAS to go to work “commando”. Yes! I just said that (it’s more pitiful for me being the homemaker). Oh and you know those days where you are doing laundry and your kids get quiet and you all of the sudden hear very faint “pop” “pop” “pops” from the other room. Just to walk in and realize almost all of your keys on your keyboard are now gone. No longer intact. Yeah! That was fun! You know, one of those days where your (almost) 2 yr old takes his diaper off while you’re doing sight words with your 5 yr old and wait for it…..POOPS in the kitchen floor. Yes! Poop! Literally a crappy day. Pun totally intended. πŸ˜‰

And I spared you the debates and tantrums my 5 yr old provided when he got home from school.

But through it all, I’m still smiling and SO thankful for my husband. I am thankful that he is an involved, very caring, and very loving daddy, husband, friend, confidant, and provider.

Even on bad days, I wouldn’t trade my world for anyone else’s.

Preggo!!!!!

For anyone who follows my blog but doesn’t follow me on social media: I am extremely happy to say that we are extending our family!!!! Baby number 3 will make his or her appearance sometime around April 23rd.

So now that the cats out of the bag that we have a bun in the oven, I can finally write about my feelings and experiences so far during this pregnancy.

1st of all, finding out was a great surprise but this pregnancy was planned, if that makes any sense at all. Basically, I go through phases where we try and try and I waste about $40-$60 on pregnancy tests (and even mistake a $20 box of ovulation sticks for pregnancy sticks) and nothing. Nothing, nothing, nothing. Never did get even close to pregnant. So I would stop “expecting” to get pregnant and just started practicing for the fun of it. πŸ˜‰ and then Bam! Missed period? Other preggo symptoms? Took a test and I finally see TWO LINES!!!!

So since I took the test in a Wal-Mart bathroom, I hurried the kids out of the stall, washed my hands, told the first person I saw that I’M PREGNANT!!!! She laughed at me but said congratulations. Hurried the kids to car, rushed putting my groceries in, threw away the caffeinated beverages I was drinking because now, NOW, I knew that I am PREGNANT!!!! Since I was meeting my husband for lunch that day, I rushed at fast and as safely as I could to his work and waited impatiently for him to get off the call he suddenly got just before I got there. Stood outside of the car, test in hand, hidden behind my back. Told him to close his eye as he walked out. As he stood before me, I presented the test to him and to his surprise, he is gonna be a DADDY for the 3rd time.

It is actually happening. I’m gonna be a Mommy of 3!!!!!!!! And now that we have announced it to our closest family and friends, I can scream it to the world!!!!!!!!!!! I can finally show how excited I am that I have a little plum (now) growing inside of me. Words can not express my excitement and my thankfulness.

I just can not wait to have 3 little babies running around. 3 human beings that I made. With the help of God and my husband, of course. I’m already wondering all the things about this baby. Boy or girl? Who will he or she look like? If it’s a girl, will she look like me or will she look like my Husband’s side (my hope is my Husband’s side)?

Do I want a boy or a girl?

Well, for the longest time, I’ve been in love with the idea of having all boys. I just love it. I love being a boy mom. I think I’ve pretty much got that part down thus far. But each time I get pregnant, I know there is always that chance that I could also possibly have a girl. Then I also fall in love with the thought of having a girl. My house will be taken over by the color PINK. Tutus, headbands, shoes (Omgosh at the shoes), and pretty much all things pink. I thought I was a DIY mom already. Please me, now, will be nothing compared to me as a girl mom in the DIY department!!!!

So to answer my self-asked question, I don’t care. I still LOVE the idea of having all boys. But I’m also in love with the idea of having a girl. So it’s whatever God chooses to make me. πŸ™‚

Stay tuned for more preggo updates cause I know I’ll have lots of them. πŸ™‚

Always got something insightful to say…

Today, I am getting long overdue work done. And it definitely isn’t complete for doesn’t feel right unless I have coffee within arm’s reach and itunes playing in the background. =)

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I have realized that life has been weird since my family returned home from vacation. It seems like our house is falling apart. But we still have a house and it keeps cool (kinda) and we definitely don’t get rained on. So we are blessed! And very grateful.

Just a random thought for you…

This stuff works wonders for my son’s eczema. It clears his poor little legs up in a day, just one use at times. So if you are in need of some good medicine, I just grabbed it at a local Wal-Mart in the pharmacy section.

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On a more insightful note (Please know that the following is very hard for me to write about. I have tried several times but I’ve always seemed to lose my train of thought. But today, it all poured right on out.)

It is so easy to get wrapped up in every day life or to lose yourself in relationships or friendships. And it’s easy to lose sight of what or who’s really important. I am a prime example of everything I just said. And I have a track record of expecting too much out of people and usually end up feeling disappointed. So as I said in the post about vacation, I didn’t have “much” thinking and devotional time but what I did come to realize while on vacation is that I get disappointed in people, not because of anything they have done specifically but because there is this happiness that I am seeking (from people) that only God can fill. And it sometimes results in hurt feelings or friendships and such.

Let me say it loudly, I rely too much on my friends and other people to make me happy when I should be trying to find that happiness in God alone.

And on this same note, I also realized that I obsess over the status of a friendship or relationship. That if we don’t talk daily or hang out weekly, we aren’t good friends. Or I wonder what have I done to make this person not want to be around me (what?!?!) I have NO clue who told me that it’s a rule that in order to be best friends or even good friends, you have to hang out a certain amount of times or talk a specific amount of times a week. I’m sure no one but somewhere down the line, that’s the image of a BFF that I have created in my mind.

But God showed me, during vacation, that there are no other people on this planet that I should care THAT much about other than God himself, my husband, and children. And not even in a “crazy” way. I should care more about the status of my relationship with those people more than I should care about anyone else. Don’t get me wrong because I care the most about them. More than anyone. Ever. They are my world! But if my heart was right with God then they should be all that I need to be genuinely happy. And IF I make friends along the way then awesome. If I make a best friend along the way, praise God, you know!

So with all of that said, God has blessed me with some amazing friends who love me and would do anything for me at any given moment as I would for them. These are some awesome woman with great hearts. And I am thankful to call them my best friends. And I have learned recently that I should not expect so much of them for they can not fill the space in my heart that is only reserved for God Himself.

But that happens to go for everything in life, though. We should always seek God’s approval first and foremost. And it’s easy, really easy to forget that. But I have to tell you, ever since I have come to this realization, my heart has been way more peaceful. And I haven’t worried as much. And it would even be safe to say that I have been way less high maintenance. Ha!

Now to eat. =)

Florida

There are a few things I learned while on vacation…

Florida is HOT. It was 102 out while we were driving home yesterday. Crazy!

I’m not a huge fan of the beach. Because first of all, Florida is HOT. 2ndly, the sand is HOT and gets everywhere. I can not tell you how much sand I have eaten this past week. Or swallowed while drinking my bottled water on the beach. Or how much sand I still felt in my mouth after not even being at the beach for a whole day.
3rdly, seaweed is gross and I don’t like getting into the ocean if I can’t see the bottom.

Vacation was not what I expected it to be. Because first of all, I expected to relax a little more than I did. But there’s this little thing called being a parent that’s a little (a lot actually) bit more important than being useless on the beach. lol

I expected to watch the sun rise a few times, watch the sun set a few times, take countless walks on the beach with my man, just lay on the beach and relax and just admire God’s wonderful work of art. I expected to have some extra, much needed one on one time with God and develop a whole new purpose of life. I expected to play and play and play on the beach with my babies. I expected to explore my photography and capture God’s creations.

But as reality would have it….things didn’t go as expected.

First of all, Florida was HOT! We didn’t get fully ready to leave the condo most days until after noon. Then we stayed out most days extremely late and then either hung out as a family before actually calling it a night or we just went straight to bed. So no watching the sun rise or set for me. LOL My husband and I ended up getting sick which landed me in bed for a few hours one day.

But above all of that, we have the time of our lives. We didn’t dwell on what we didn’t get to do because what we did do meant so much more.

I got to spend time with my babies and just love on them and spoil them for an entire week. We played in the ocean with them. We had dinners on the balcony, played board games with them, had countless conversations with them, played in the pool, had a pool party, let them stay up at late as they could stand it. And I fell in love with my kids even more than I ready was. I didn’t know it was possible to love someone that you already love with all of your being, more.

I got a tattoo (henna) or 2. I didn’t watch what I ate- at all. I got to spend nearly every waking minute with my man. I got to bond with my sister-in-law and soon to be sister-in-law. And I feel that we all grew closer as a family. I definitely didn’t get tired of seeing their faces every day.

We laughed and laughed, ate, played, argued, talked and just enjoyed each other’s company for 7 days.

This Florida vacation wasn’t what I had expected but it turned out to be SO MUCH MORE. We made memories than I’ll remember for a life time. And I am SO glad that I got what I needed out of this vacation instead of what I thought I wanted. What I got was some good family therapy. There is no other people that I will love more on this earth than my family.

I am thankful to everyone that made this week possible for us. πŸ™‚ I am thanking God for giving us what we needed on this family vacation and knowing what we needed and for reminding me that it is not MY will but His!

I can’t wait for our next family vacation. Hopefully it won’t be another 5 yrs. πŸ˜‰

1st day of Kindergarten

Well, it’s happening. My oldest is in school. And I want to write about this while my feelings are fresh because I feel that I will be most honest this way.

Yesterday was such an exciting day!!! We woke up, showered, got dressed, brushed our teeth (before breakfast. It’s just the way we do it), ate breakfast, took pictures then loaded in the car and headed to the school. Just FYI, I will not be posting any of his school pictures for his safety. =)

He hopped out, gave his daddy a hug (daddy had tears) and I and my big ole camera walked him right in. He found his own classroom. On our walk, he pointed out all the Ninja Turtle backpacks we saw, none were just like his (thankfully). The process inside took a while but once he got his name tag on, he was ready to get the day started. I saw the little boys at one of the tables point Matthew and his Ninja Turtle shirt and bookbag out. He started off to hang his backpack with his teacher’s assistant and I had to call him back to grab a hug before he forgot all about me. LOL After hanging his bag, I slowly but surely made my way out of the door as my part in his school day was over until school was out and I’d get to pick him up.

But before I left, I stood at the door to see where he’d be sitting. He chose to sit at the table with the little boys I mentioned earlier. And then I waited to see if they started talking to him. At first, one little boy was stand-offish and I immediately wanted to go and start a conversation with the boys to get them to talk to Matthew. But I don’t know what happened or what Matthew said but they eventually started talking and for that, I was thankful! I snapped a far away picture (thankful for my camera’s awesome zoom) then said an eye open prayer (so that no one thought I was falling asleep) over him. And turned around and walk to the car. No major tears. Just watery eyes. I guess I knew I had to be strong for my baby. And subconsciously, I knew I couldn’t cry.

The whole day was spent running errand with my husband and the babies. It was a busy day but I feel like I didn’t get anything of importance done. Well, besides getting that expired tag renewed….ooops!

I anticipated the hours til we got to go and pick him up. And the time came then we went to it in the car rider line for what felt like 2 hours. My stomach was in knots and I couldn’t wait to hear all about his 1st day of Kindergarten.

We finally pull up and he’s see’s us and can’t wait to come hop in. Once he gets in and gets settled, he tell one of the babies that he was in Kindergarten all day.

The first thing he said was “Mommy, school was great!” Daddy asked questions and I just sat there and listened so intently. I just hung on his every little word. With a huge smile on my face. I loved hearing about Kindergarten from his perspective.

And he couldn’t wait to go back today.

And we get him off to school with his daddy this morning and immediately, my Favorite calls me and I believe that that’s exactly what I needed to get my mind off of things. But it’s been a couple of hours and here I sit…sad. Playing with the babies and missing him so badly. I just wish I knew what exactly he is doing each time he does it. But this is a part of letting him grow up. He baby stage is over. He is now a big boy (he has been a big boy for quite some time but now, he’s a BIG big boy) and it’s time to let him go. He will be home every afternoon and every weekend.

But for right now (and the rest of our lives), this is our life and I’m sure it will get easier. And I just can’t wait to hear all about his 2nd day of Kindergarten.

I didn’t make it a secret that I was sad, scared, excited and every other emotion on the planet about my baby going to school. And yesterday, I felt such love, encouragement, and support from all of my friends and family.

The day before, my baby got calls (and skyped) from his aunt and grandparents, got to go hang out with his cousin at the park for a little bit. He had such a great day. And before bed last night, he got calls again asking how his day was. He, too, has been shown so much love from his family.

We are incredibly blessed with such awesome family and friends.

And while I was all wrapped up in my pity party, I didn’t even think to offer a kind word to all of the other moms who are experiencing the same thing as I am. Their first baby is going to school for the first time too. And they are right there with me. And us Mama’s have to stick together and let one another know that they are not alone.

So for all the love I was shown yesterday, I am thankful! So thankful.

Nap time diary…

I am a very vocal person and I have been extremely vocal about my baby going to kindergarten. Not my “baby” baby…my big boy baby. And I know several mama’s whose babies are going off to Kindergarten this year and some who are going off to preK. And though they aren’t as vocal as I am, I know that they are sad, too. Some are actually happy. LOL

I just don’t want him to grow up. I want another 5 yrs with him to do all the things I never got to do with him. I want to teach him even more things that I already have. I want to make even more memories and teach him more than I already have. I know that I will still get to do all of those things with him. I’m just not ready for Kindergarten to have him yet.

So on another note, I have started my photography page on FB and hopefully will be starting a good business really soon. You can find me here

People are cruel and so I am sure that I have a few “haters” out there who thinks I shouldn’t have a business. The truth is, I know my pictures aren’t as good as a lot of people’s pictures. I know I have a long way to go. But the reality is, I am starting this business because I love taking pictures. I love making memories.

I bought my first DSLR when my oldest turned 1. And while I had no clue what to do with my camera, I knew that I loved the crisp, sharp photos that it took. My son deserved the best pictures out there. I tried practicing on different people and things and over the years with practice, studying, and experience, I am now comfortable enough to charge for my work. I enjoy capturing memories and everyone who is around me on the reg knows how much I love it. =)

The last few posts have been about my 1st born and I have been neglecting to mention my sweet 19 month old. He is growing so fast and talking like crazy (for a 19 month old). He has no fear and wants to do everything Brother does. He is goofy and will look you dead in the face and laugh at you if you are crying. He is going to be our family goofball because well, he already is. I love both of my boys so very much!

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